© Gaye Wilson 2009

Image by Dora PeteI’m feeling guilty.

Why?

Let me count the ways.

  • Because I haven’t blogged for two weeks.
  • Because I haven’t replied to a lovely comment about my blog (thanks, Georganna!).
  • Because I haven’t finished updating one of my websites.
  • Because I didn’t do much last week.

Last week was a write off for me. I overdid it on Saturday, clearing a bit of my garage – it looks lovely! – and I paid for it in the following days. But I kept paying for it, not necessarily physically, but mentally and emotionally. I couldn’t motivate myself. I found myself doing, as I used to do, research on the internet that I knew I would probably never read (gotta schedule that in!). And I was kicking myself the entire time. I knew what I had to do, but I wasn’t doing it.

Have you ever had a week like that? You feel worthless and useless and a complete idiot. You’re in a funk, you get depressed, you take it out on the people around you. You’re in a landscape of misery.

And you feel physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually horrible.

So how do you get yourself out of that?

Most of my coaching clients have this problem at one time or another. I think most people do. There are several things you can do about it.

1. Stop beating yourself up about it.
Part of the horrible feeling is that you are beating yourself up for not doing what you think you should be doing. Beating yourself up leads to all sorts of awful things, including self-loathing, emotional eating and paralysis. Beating yourself up doesn’t work. It just makes you feel worse. So stop it, and do one of the items on the list below (these will also help you stop it).

2. Do something. Anything.
Sometimes the only thing that will get you out of a funk, whether it’s a depressive funk or a I-can’t-move-forward funk, is to do something. Anything. Take some sort of action. Get up and do some star jumps. Walk the dog. Scream. Eat ice cream.

3. Make a list.
Do you know what you should be doing or do you make it up as you go along? Lists are very helpful tools. Make a list of what you want to accomplish today or this week. Pick one item and do it, then cross it off the list. This can give you a huge boost. Don’t forget to pick another one and work on it!

4. Clear a space.
De-cluttering is liberating. It can also be messy, dirty and a lot of fun (see #10). Clear a space on your desk or your floor. Throw out papers you no longer need. Give old clothes, furniture and books to charity. You’ll feel a lot better, your space will be nicer, and you will have helped someone else (see #9).

5. Ask for help.
Talk to someone about what you’re feeling and what you’re doing (or not doing). Talk to a friend, a family member, a colleague, a coach. Ask them to help you get out of it. Ask them to support you in doing something productive. Set up a temporary accountability to them. Note: If you are continually doing nothing and feeling depressed and miserable, you may need professional help.

6. Do something completely different.
Change your situation radically by doing something that is not related to what you should be doing, or something that you don’t normally do. Jolt yourself into action.

7. Change your focus.
Sometimes all you need is to change what you are thinking about. Look at the problem in a different way. Say to yourself, okay, I’m currently doing this and feeling awful about it. What would happen if I did or thought this instead? Focus on something or someone else for a while. Pet your dog. Play with a child. Pick up a different project and make some progress on it.

8. Exercise.
Exercise induces chemicals in the brain that help with mood. Go for a walk. Go to the gym. Ask a friend to go horse riding with you. Okay, it may not be what you should be doing, but it will make you feel better, and will elevate your mood. GET UP AND MOVE.

9. Help someone else.
Go down to the local soup kitchen and offer your services for an hour or two. Knit a blanket for the homeless. Visit a friend. Donate to charity (see #4). Helping someone else will take your mind off your own troubles, and when you return, they might not seem so insurmountable.

10. Have some fun.
What floats your boat? Reading? Going to a movie? Ten pin bowling? Hanging out with friends? Pick one simple activity that will give you some fun. It will lift your mood, get you away from your funk-place, and will give you a break.

11. Or you can wallow in your funk.

Your choice.

My chapter in Top Coaches Share their Action Strategies also gives some useful ideas on how to take action.

Guess what?

Now I’ve written a blog post, I feel better about myself. I’ve actually done something that’s on my list, I’ve taken action, I’ve cleared some clutter in my brain, and I’m ready to get back to doing what needs to be done.

See? It works!

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Comments

2 Responses to “Are you feeling guilty? Ten ways to stop.”

  1. Facts on October 6th, 2009 3:24 pm

    Hey I love your style I will subscribe for your feed please keep posting!

  2. www5.geometry.Net on May 28th, 2015 2:53 am

    www5.geometry.Net

    Are you feeling guilty? Ten ways to stop. | All Paths to Victory

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