Comments on: If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you http://allpathstovictory.com/2009/12/10/if-you-dont-know-im-not-going-to-tell-you/ The key of strategy is not to choose a path to victory, but to choose so that ALL paths lead to victory. Fri, 09 Jul 2010 02:31:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Judith Auslander http://allpathstovictory.com/2009/12/10/if-you-dont-know-im-not-going-to-tell-you/comment-page-1/#comment-6893 Judith Auslander Mon, 14 Dec 2009 02:44:23 +0000 http://allpathstovictory.com/?p=257#comment-6893 OMG - this is one of biggest complaints and something I emphasise when I start coaching someone. I flunked out of Mind Reading! I have no idea how to really mind read. I might try to read a mind - but I am so bad it that 90% of the time I guess wrong - and that's the point - I am guessing. Tell me how how you feel or I will probably never really get it. I will probably feel something is wrong, but I won't know what it is. Speak up - say how you feel - be loving and kind - but be direct. Passive/Aggressive "If you love me you would know what I am feeling" drives me nuts. OMG – this is one of biggest complaints and something I emphasise when I start coaching someone. I flunked out of Mind Reading! I have no idea how to really mind read. I might try to read a mind – but I am so bad it that 90% of the time I guess wrong – and that’s the point – I am guessing. Tell me how how you feel or I will probably never really get it. I will probably feel something is wrong, but I won’t know what it is. Speak up – say how you feel – be loving and kind – but be direct. Passive/Aggressive “If you love me you would know what I am feeling” drives me nuts.

]]> By: Dave Meyer - Denver DISC Specialist http://allpathstovictory.com/2009/12/10/if-you-dont-know-im-not-going-to-tell-you/comment-page-1/#comment-6891 Dave Meyer - Denver DISC Specialist Mon, 14 Dec 2009 02:15:18 +0000 http://allpathstovictory.com/?p=257#comment-6891 Hi Gaye, This is a very poignant posting. I also do a lot of work in conflict resolution in combination with my work with DISC. A full 69% of Americans have a natural tendency to supress harsh thoughts and respond to conflict in a passive/aggressive manner. These people often believe that they are fully expressing their anger to others, while actually covering it up. Then they get even madder when no one tries to figure out why they are angry. It turns into one massive circle of emotions that leads to exactly the situation you describe above. They finally go over the edge and blow up and quit the group, or the relationship all the while upset that no one truly understands how they feel. One of the things we focus on in our workshops is helping these people understand exactly what you are saying above.... "No one can understand your pain if you won't tell them why you are in pain". Thanks for the article.... Dave Hi Gaye,

This is a very poignant posting. I also do a lot of work in conflict resolution in combination with my work with DISC. A full 69% of Americans have a natural tendency to supress harsh thoughts and respond to conflict in a passive/aggressive manner. These people often believe that they are fully expressing their anger to others, while actually covering it up. Then they get even madder when no one tries to figure out why they are angry. It turns into one massive circle of emotions that leads to exactly the situation you describe above. They finally go over the edge and blow up and quit the group, or the relationship all the while upset that no one truly understands how they feel. One of the things we focus on in our workshops is helping these people understand exactly what you are saying above…. “No one can understand your pain if you won’t tell them why you are in pain”.

Thanks for the article….

Dave

]]> By: Pre-Workout Nutrition – Stayfitanywhere's Blog | Workouts Fitness Wisdom http://allpathstovictory.com/2009/12/10/if-you-dont-know-im-not-going-to-tell-you/comment-page-1/#comment-6878 Pre-Workout Nutrition – Stayfitanywhere's Blog | Workouts Fitness Wisdom Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:06:56 +0000 http://allpathstovictory.com/?p=257#comment-6878 [...] If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you | All Paths to Victory [...] [...] If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you | All Paths to Victory [...]

]]>