Mar

8

There’s a dragon in my garden!

Filed Under Philosophy of Life | 2 Comments

© Gaye Wilson 2010

I went to put my dogs in their day pens this morning, and stopped short. On the ground at the bottom of a tree in one of the pens was something unexpected. I moved closer and saw the most wonderful lizard, motionless, staring up the tree trunk.

Needless to say I didn’t put the dog in there. Either the dog or the lizard would have had a very bad day.

I knew I had seen this type of lizard before, but certainly not in my back yard! I googled images of Australian lizards, and fond out that he is a Bearded Dragon. He’s about a foot and a half long, and covered in the most wonderful knobbly scales and spikes.

He’s gorgeous!

Now, what does this have to do with All Paths To Victory, or productivity?

Not a lot, you might think.

However, seeing this dragon in my garden has lifted my whole day. I found something new and unexpected in an otherwise ordinary day. I took time out to take photographs and enjoy the beauty. I learned something (this type of dragon originated in the deserts of central Australia, but is now a popular pet all over. This one is most definitely NOT a pet!).

I didn’t take time out to smell the roses – I took time out to enjoy a wild creature.

How can you enjoy beauty today?

Dec

13

Every day you live is a special occasion

Filed Under Death, Grief, Philosophy of Life | 7 Comments

© Gaye Wilson 2009

Image by pongsterToday is my father’s birthday. If he had lived, he would have been 83. Although he has been gone for three and a half years, I saw something that he would have liked the other day, and for an instant thought about buying it for him for Christmas. Then I remembered. And I felt like I had lost him all over again.

When someone dies, the world loses. The family loses. Friends and loved ones lose the opportunity to be with that person, to talk to them, laugh with them, confide in them, advise them and find out what they know. The person’s entire knowledge banks and memories are lost – unless they were preserved in some way – books, photos, diaries, blogs even.

Have you seen the movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson called The Bucket List? I watched it on DVD last week. It’s about two men with terminal cancer who write a list of things they want to do before they die. And then they go out and do them. Both of them waited until they were dying to do some things they had wanted to do all their lives.

Why wait to do what you want?

When you are dying, it’s probably too late. If you’re dying of a disease, you might not be well enough to climb a mountain or learn a new language. If you die suddenly, it’s definitely too late.

Every day you are alive is a gift. Don’t let it pass you by.

A friend sent me a message from the Dalai Lama today. It says exactly what I wanted to say in this post, so I have quoted it here:

**

Today we have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences but less time.

We have more degrees but less common sense, more knowledge, but less judgement.

We have more experts but more problems, more medicine but less wellness.

We spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, read too little, watch too much TV and pray too seldom.

We’ve multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too little, and lie too often.

More leisure and less fun … more kinds of foods … but less nutrition …two incomes but more divorce …fancier houses, but broken homes.

That’s why I propose that, as of today, you do not keep anything for a special occasion, because every day you live is a special occasion.

Search for knowledge.

Read more.

Sit on your front porch and admire the view without paying attention to your needs.

Spend more time with your family and friends, eat your favourite foods, and visit the places you love.

Life is a chain of moments of enjoyment, not only about survival.

Use your crystal goblets, do not save your best perfume, and use it every time you feel you want it.

Remove from your vocabulary phrases like “one of these days” and “someday”.

Let’s write that letter we thought of writing “one of these days”.

Let’s tell our family and friends how much we love them.

Do not delay anything that adds laughter and joy to your life.

Every day, every hour, and every minute is special.

And you don’t know if it will be your last.

If you’re too busy to make the time to send this message to someone you love, and you tell yourself you will send it “one of these days”,

BELIEVE ME

one of these days you may not be here to send it.

**

The Dalai Lama nailed it, didn’t he?

I would add one thing to what the Dalai Lama said.

Make a legacy. Don’t let your knowledge and memories die with you. Leave something of yourself behind.

Dec

10

If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you

Filed Under Coaching, Philosophy of Life | 3 Comments

© Gaye Wilson 2009

hand“If you don’t know [what's wrong, what you've done, why I'm upset/angry], I’m not going to tell you!”

Has anyone ever said that to you?

How did you feel?

My usual response to this exceptionally stupid statement is “What the …?”

A couple of weeks ago, someone left an organisation that I’m involved with because she had some issues with how it was being run. That’s fine, but the person had never given any indication before her resignation that she was not happy. The remaining members of the organisation were left scratching their heads in bewilderment. What did we do? How could this have been resolved? And more importantly, why didn’t the person say something????

It’s like being told “If you don’t know, I’m certainly not going to tell you!”.

What a stupid thing to say. I’m not, nor do I know anyone who is, a mindreader. I can’t know what you are thinking unless you actually say it. Why do people do this? I actually heard a senior executive say this to a subordinate one day. Say what? An executive telling a junior that she’s not happy about something the junior has done/not done, but won’t say what it was? How crazy is that?

I used to be a Conflict Resolution Trainer with the Conflict Resolution Network. One of the first principles of conflict resolution is to actually address the problem. No-one will know there is a problem unless someone says something. Problems cannot be fixed unless they are addressed.

It would have been much more productive for everyone if the person who left the organisation had said something to someone about how she was feeling. Then the person responsible for the behaviour that caused the distress could respond. No one knows how someone else is feeling. No one knows for sure what else is going on in someone else’s life. There may have been only one instance of the issue, or several different issues. It may have been because the person who unwittingly caused the distress was having a bad day, or was under a lot of stress, or was distracted, or was simply misunderstood. No one will ever know, because the issue was not addressed.

The bottom line is that conflict can often be handled well if the distressed person actually says what is wrong.

How many times have you done or said the equivalent of “If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you”?

Don’t you think there is a better way?

Speak up if there’s something bothering you. You’ll never get resolution if you don’t actually address the issue.

Sep

27

You can do everything when you’re healthy

Filed Under Coaching, Philosophy of Life, Productivity | 9 Comments

© Gaye Wilson 2009

healthyI woke up feeling fantastic this morning. I don’t remember the last time I did that. I’m up and rarin’ to go. Can’t wait to start the day.

This is very unusual for me. I have a chronic illness, which I’ve had since 1995. It seems that it’s not going to go away. So when I wake every morning it’s more a case of asking myself what doesn’t hurt, and how can I drag myself through the day without hurting more.

What’s different today? Yesterday I started a course of antibiotics. When I’m on antibiotics, I always feel fantastic. The difference between how I feel on antibiotics and how I feel normally is phenomenal. I’m two completely different people.

Feeling fantastic means that I accomplish more. Everything I do is faster, better and easier. My mind is clearer. My body can last longer.

When I’m feeling healthy, I am the person I want to be.

When I’m unhealthy (which is most of the time), everything is hard. I still get stuff done, I still accomplish my work and my goals, but it takes far more effort, it takes longer, and I have to work in short snatches.

You can get so used to feeling off that you don’t realise how much it’s affecting you.

Even minor ailments have an impact on your performance.

I’m not the only one who has found this out the hard way. Here are some more examples.

One of my PhD Coaching clients suffered terribly from headaches. When she was given the correct treatment, the headaches went away and she surged forward with her dissertation. She had not realised how much her life and performance were affected by her headaches.

Another of my PhD Coaching clients had dental problems. She was in pain, but didn’t realise that it was affecting her performance. I encouraged her to get it checked out, and lo and behold, when the problem was fixed, she felt fantastic and finished her PhD earlier than expected.

You can do everything when you’re healthy. If you’re unhealthy, it takes a lot more effort and a lot longer to do things.

So make sure you are as healthy as you can possibly be:

  • eat the right things, and in moderation
  • do the right amount and type of exercise
  • drink lots of pure water
  • maintain a healthy weight
  • get sufficient sleep
  • get a medical checkup
  • get a dental checkup
  • have fun
  • create a support or social network
  • maintain a life/work balance

It will make a world of difference to your outlook, your accomplishments and your life.

I’m not saying here that unhealthy people can’t perform and can’t accomplish their goals. I pull out all stops when I have a deadline to meet in my editing business, but it usually leaves me drained. The author of the book-turned-into-blockbuster-movie Sea Biscuit had the same condition that I have, and she wrote the book while flat on her back in bed. A colleague of mine recently attended the launch of her new local history book in a wheelchair – she also has this condition.

So unhealthy people can perform and produce, but it’s much harder. People with ill health have to work harder to accomplish the same as healthy people,and it takes a heavier toll.

Victories happen faster and easier when you’re healthy.

So get healthy.

What can you do this week to boost your health?

Jul

12

What’s your victory?

Filed Under Coaching, Philosophy of Life, Project Management, Scheduling, Taking Action | Leave a Comment

where© Gaye Wilson, 2009

This blog talks about ways to win your victory, but so far it hasn’t talked about what your victory is.

What is your victory?

It is your goal, your desire, your dream, your fantasy. It’s what you want in life. It’s what you want to do or accomplish. It’s your current project. It’s what motivates you to get up in the morning. It’s that thing you’ve always wanted since you were a child.

It’s your reason for being.

Everyone has goals. Everyone has dreams. And everyone has projects. All of them are different, but all have a desired end result.

That’s your victory. Your desired end result.

So what is your desired end result? Do you want to lose weight? Learn a language? Complete a doctorate? Or do you simply want to clean up your garage or start a garden?

In order to win your victory, you first need to know what that victory will look like. How will you recognise it when you achieve it? What exactly is it that you want? What specifically is your desired result?

Once you know that, you also need to know how you will accomplish it. This means thinking about the steps you need to take. Break it down into doable actions. Think the process through, walk through it in your mind, on paper, with others, or using a project management program. Try not to miss any vital steps.

With your list of actions in hand, you can then set about completing those actions.

One last thing. You probably need to put a timeframe on it. I say probably, because not all victories are timebound. You might want to be happy – how does one put a timeframe on that?

So then what? You do it! And when you’ve completed all the tasks on your list of actions, voila! There’s your victory.

tcsbookI discuss plans and action strategies further in my chapter of Top Coaches Share Their Personal Action Strategies. You might like to click on the link and check out the book.

So, what’s your victory, and how do you plan to achieve it?

Jul

26

Randy Pausch died yesterday

Filed Under Coaching, Inspiring Stories, Philosophy of Life | 1 Comment

© Gaye Wilson 2008
Dr Randy Pausch, about whom I wrote in this post, died yesterday of complications from pancreatic cancer. He was 47 years old. He left behind a wife, three small children and two major legacies: his academic work, and his famous Last Lecture.

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”

Dr Pausch knew he was dying, and he prepared for it as well as he could. He got all his affairs in order, lived as well as he could physically and emotionally, and he created a legacy. He didn’t go down without a fight. He kept living, even though he was dying.

His Last Lecture has been seen by millions of people all over the world. It has been made into a book which has been translated into over 30 languages. His message was simple:

Live life while you have it. And leave a legacy of that life.

What about you?

What are you doing today to create a legacy?

What will you do tomorrow to enjoy life and help others to enjoy theirs?

What will you do next week that will have a positive impact upon the world around you?

There’s a Chinese proverb that is appropriate here:

Be not afraid of growing slowly.
Be afraid of standing still.

Thank you, Dr Pausch, for your life and your philosophy. My heart goes out to your family.

Donations can be made to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, 2141 Rosecrans Ave., Suite 7000, El Segundo, CA 90245, or to Carnegie Mellon’s Randy Pausch Memorial Fund (www.cmu.edu/giving/pausch). If you can’t donate to either of those, please donate what you can to any cancer research organisation near you.

Jul

9

Death – the ultimate wake-up call

Filed Under Coaching, Philosophy of Life, Productivity | 1 Comment

© Gaye Wilson 2008
My neighbour died last week. It was totally unexpected. The family, obviously, is shattered.

So am I.

I discovered some interesting behaviour on my part the day I heard about his death. I went shopping – a normal, weekly grocery shop. But I found myself buying more – stuff – than usual. It was as if, the more stuff I brought home, the more it affirmed that I was still alive.

I bought a couple of books that would normally be out of my price range – but I might be dead tomorrow, and if I buy them now perhaps I’ll get the chance to read them before I go. I bought a bunch of magazines that I would normally only leaf through in the store. I bought some brightly coloured wool, with no particular pattern in mind, but I bought it because it was there, and bringing it home showed that I’m still here. It was as if the more stuff I have, the less chance I have of not being here to deal with it tomorrow.

That’s a strange reaction, and it surprised me.

What also surprised me was the depth of emotion I’m feeling. I didn’t know the neighbour well, but he was a reassuring presence every day as he drove past to or from work, and he had done some work on our property for us. Now he’s gone. The news shocked me to my core, and brought back memories of my father’s death two years ago. It’s as if the neighbour’s death was the catalyst for me to grieve all over again for my father.

But the biggest reaction I had was “What a waste”. Every time someone or something dies, the world is different. The person’s knowledge is lost, not to mention income, influence, skills and a range of other things. How many people die each day, not having fulfilled their potential? (I’m not saying my neighbour was one of them.)

Death is the ultimate wake-up call. Over this past week, I’ve also been thinking about what I’m doing with my life. Am I filling each day with worthwhile actions? Am I happy? Do I make other people happy? Am I healthy? Am I doing everything I can to stay healthy so I can be on this planet for as long as possible? Am I achieving my goals? Am I passing on my knowledge?

Don’t let your knowledge die with you. Find ways to teach others what you have learnt.

Don’t let your song die with you. Share yourself and your talents with the world.

Become who you really want to be.

Do what you really want to do.

Coaches often suggest to clients that they think about their funeral. Who will be there? What will be said about you? What will be on your tombstone? What do you want your legacy to be? Once you know that, you can do whatever is needed to make it happen.

Start now. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Work out what you want, how to get it, and go for it. Get help.

Don’t wait until you hear of someone’s death before you start to live. You may not get another chance.

R.I.P. Bernie.

Feb

22

Dr Randy Pausch’s philosophy of life

Filed Under Coaching, Philosophy of Life | 1 Comment

© Gaye Wilson 2008
If you haven’t heard of him before, Dr Randy Pausch is an inspirational academic who is dying of cancer. His Farewell Lecture is something you need to see.

Some of the things he says in this lecture are:

  • The brick walls that are in our way are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out: they are there  to give us a way to show how much we want it.
  • Live with integrity.
  • Choose to have fun (even when you’re dying).
  • Be a Tigger, not an Eeyore.
  • When you screw up, apologize.
  • Apologize properly.
  • People are more important than things.
  • Learn to work and play well with others.
  • Show gratitiude.
  • Don’t complain: just work harder.
  • If you live properly, the dreams will come to you.

Go and watch this amazing, inspirational, incredible lecture now. You will not regret it.

Once you’ve watched it, I’d like you to do two things:

  1. Send it to everyone you know, and
  2. Donate what you can to cancer research.

The lecture is here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=_tIyt8oSLVs&feature=bz301

 I’d be really happy to hear what you think of the lecture, and that you’ve done those two things. Please let me know you have done so by leaving a comment.